One of the must-get souveneirs from Indonesia is the sarong, an essential item to any Indonesian (man or woman) living in the villages.
At our Indonesia Missions dinner reunion Rob purposefully disengages himself from the team and vehemently rejects the idea of wearing a sarong, insisting that…
“a sarong is so wrong.”
There is no ‘i’ in team, Rob.
[A while after I had written down my contact details for Ivan at Hog's Breath]
Ivan: “Hey sorry I never emailed you!”
Me: “You were supposed to Facebook me! What happened?”
Ivan: “I blew my nose on the napkin you wrote it on.”
Smooth. Real smooth. Hahaha!!!
Elephants live longer than people, maybe because they never worry about trying to lose weight!
Now that most people’s anxiety is focused and preoccupied with 40% of things that will never happen, 30% of things relating to the past that can’t be changed, 12% of things relating to other people’s criticism, which is generally untrue, and 10% of things relating to health, which often gets worse with stress and negative thinking. Only 8% of the time do they worry about real concerns that will need to be faced. So, if only about 8% of all the issues in our lives really turn out to be ‘something’ why is it that we spend so much time worrying and being highly anxious and stressed about all the rest? Read the rest of this entry ?
Found this on a site written by five men church pastors. It’ll brighten your day too – it’s hilarious! (via philbaker.net)
–
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open Read the rest of this entry ?
(thx, melia!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. Read the rest of this entry ?
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having ‘wealth’ from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, ’Purpose Driven Life ‘ author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California .
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. Read the rest of this entry ?
[via mark conner]
At our church we believe in the ministry of prophecy. God still speaks today, not at the authoritative level of Scripture, but to bring strength, comfort and challenge to people’s lives (see 1 Cor.14:3). Recently, we had a time of prophetic ministry over 250 of our church leaders and we’ve received many excellent reports about the positive impact that this had. We encourage each person to listen to the audio CD of the prophecies with someone, so that each prophetic word can be judged appropriately. The apostle Paul tells us not to treat prophecies lightly, but to test them – holding on to what is good and right, and letting the rest go (see 1 Thess.5:19-22).
On the humorous side, a friend of mine, Pastor Joseph Garlington, has collected a number of ‘prophecy bloopers’ over the years. I’m not sure how many of them actually took place, but they are a good laugh anyway. Here they are …
“Thus saith the Lord, Why does this people sit around on their cans and do nothing? For do you not know that my word has been around for God knows how long?”
There she is, Miss Perfect. Between her GQ husband, angelic children, and home straight from the “Parade of Homes” tour, is there anything that she doesn’t have? Doesn’t she have it all? Have you ever caught yourself wondering how the Barbie across the congregation got so lucky? She must have given a dying child a kidney or something that made God smile on her, right?
Too many times I have wondered why God chose to bless somebody else. Read the rest of this entry ?
Over on Boing Boing Gadgets, our Joel spots this robotic Bible-copying monk-arm, called “Kuka,” which “appears to be a fairly standard industrial robot… reprogrammed to inscribe the entire Martin Luther bible onto a endless roll of paper…[in a] calligraphic style.” Link
(Image credit: Robotlab : bios [bible] (2007) from Marc Wathieu’s Flickr stream)
(thx, russ!)
a collection of the best:
1. “nice bible.”
2. “is this pew taken?”
3. “i just don’t feel called to celibacy.”
4. “for you i would slay two Goliaths”
5. “i would go through more than Job for you”
6. “you are perfect, except with all the sin.”
7. “when Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. I promise I will never strike you.”
8. “you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you.”
9. “what, this here? oh.. thats my study bible – it’s a little bigger but i can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight.”
10. “shall we tithe?”
11. “at points in my life i have been referred to as Samson”
12. “the word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; how about dinner?” Read the rest of this entry ?
